Random Insanity
by JadenYuuki
Summary: Jack faces the absurdity of hot-off-the-press fanfiction, with the aid of a young wanderer and perhaps other allies. Rated K-Plus for Comic Mischief, Mild Animated Violence and now Mild Language, apparently. Contains light crossover elements, but not enough to qualify as one.
1. It started with a Zero Wing reference

Here comes the author's note: So, hey, guys. I just thought that, since I'm trying to get back into the swing of fanfiction, I'd start by posting a newly edited and reworked version of a fanfic I once wrote on a fansite forum. (My other fic was going to be this, originally, but somehow my mind went in a different direction. Such is life, I guess.)

Anyway, enjoy this little bit of history.

Oh yeah, before I forget.

DISCLAIMER: Samurai Jack belongs to Cartoon Network and Genndy Tartakofsy. I own nothing but my blatant author avatar OC Noah Walsh.

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><p>RANDOM INSANITY!<p>

Starring Samurai Jack

(_gotta get back, back to the past, SAMURAI JACK! (JA-JACK-JACK-JACK-JA-JACK-JACK)_)

It was a fairly ordinary day as Jack rested at the residence of his newest ally in the fight against Aku. The young man had offered to let him stay the night, and having a roof over one's head was certainly preferable to sleeping out in the cold.

The young man in question was named Noah Walsh. He boasted odd abilities, and seemed to always have a place to stay regardless of where he traveled. This had, at first, slightly perturbed Jack, but he eventually concluded that it was better to have such a peculiar being working with him rather than against him.

The two of them were idly chatting about where they were likely to travel next, rumors of towns in need of heroics or potential gateways to the past, when suddenly, a television set mysteriously switched on. A familiar and distinctive evil laugh rang from the set's speakers.

"HA HA HAAAAAAA!"

Jack immediately stood up, hand resting on the hilt of his trusty sword.

"How are you, samurai?" Aku asked as he looked into the camera broadcasting his image onto the screen. He stepped aside to show a cage suspended above a vat of dangerous chemicals. There were several girls trapped inside the cage. "All your fangirl are belong to me! Well, perhaps not _all_, but those that were in the general area. And as you can see, they are on the way to destruction!"

"SAVE US!" one of them cried.

Another one angrily shouted "Are you seriously threatening our Jack with a _Zero Wing reference?!_"

"Unless you come to the nearby warehouse and face me, I shall drop them into the vat of chemicals, and who knows what may happen to them? Probably they'll die. We may just have to see. And if you wish to know how I know this warehouse is near where you are now, _I can see you with my magic!_ Remember that, samurai! Now hurry, unless you wish to be responsible for their deaths." With that, the television displayed a map showing the exact location of the warehouse in question with a label "GO HERE" and then it shut off.

"Well, Jack?" Noah asked, reaching for his own weapons.

"I suppose I have no choice." replied the samurai. "I cannot allow Aku to kill innocent people because of me."

"I figured you were that sort of person." said Noah, as he shouldered his own sword.

Some time later, they arrived at the warehouse.

"I am here, Aku. Now let them go!" Jack shouted at his nemesis.

"AHA HA HAAAAA! Did you think I would give up my best means of defense against you fighting back?" the demon laughed.

"... Actually, no. That is why I brought an ally." the samurai said, as the whirring of machinery started in the background.

Aku turned to see the cage shift as the crane holding it turned away from the vat. Jack wasted no time in leaping at his distracted foe, sword out and screaming his trademark battle cry. With a flash of his blade, he cut a mighty gash through Aku's chest. The wound burned from the holy power of Jack's ancestral blade, but eventually it sealed.

Meanwhile, Noah quickly unlocked the cage and ushered the girls out of the warehouse. As the last one ran out the door, Aku grabbed the young man by the throat.

"YOU DARE SPOIL MY PLAN?!" Aku shouted, hoisting Noah into the air. Before he could do anything, however, there was another flash of a blade, and the demon's hand was severed, dispersing from around Noah's neck as he fell to the floor.

Aku shifted (as he tends to do) into his tiny mouse form, and as he scampered away, he cried "ONE DAY, SAMURAI! I SHALL DESTROY YOU! AND YOUR ALLIES!"

Noah got up from the floor and rubbed his neck. "So, how long do you think it'll be before he tries something new against us?"

The samurai sheathed his sword and gave his companion a small shrug. "Who knows? At least for now, the cause of righteousness has been served."

"Wanna get something to eat? I know a good restaurant in this town." Noah asked.

"A meal would be nice." said Jack. And so, the two of them headed off into the town.

... Though almost immediately, they were mobbed by the rescued fangirls, all of whom demanded Jack give them his autograph.

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><p>Well, there you have it. The first chapter of my old Samurai Jack fanfic, re-edited and formatted for this site, as I had originally written the thing in script form, as I recall.<p>

This was actually pretty fun, and now that I'm back in the swing of fanfiction, you can expect new chapters shortly. Maybe even tomorrow, but I am a bit of a lazyass so don't take my word on that.


	2. A New Foe Appears!

Jack and Noah have resumed their travels, in search of villages to liberate from Aku's wrath, and portals that, with any luck, will take Jack back to the past.

Of course, no trip ever seems to go smoothly for our hero, and he and his companion find themselves surrounded by Marauder Bots?

"... But I destroyed them all!" Jack said, confused at the sight before him.

"Or so you may have thought." said a voice that sounded vaguely familiar.

"Extor? But why would you..."

"Hah! I am not Extor, but rather his previously unknown evil twin brother Whytor!" said the newcomer as he stepped forth from wherever he was hiding.

"... what." said Noah.

"I concur. This is most confusing." said Jack.

"Attack, my marauders!" Whytor declared, and the robots charged at our heroes.

Jack bravely fought them off, as did Noah, though without an enchanted ancestral blade, the best he could do was block their strikes and attempt to throw them off balance.

Meanwhile, Jack's blade, which was now in Glowing Kickass Mode, tore through the marauder attacking him. One armed with machineguns tried to attack him from a distance, but he managed somehow to deflect the bullets.

Soon the two heroes had settled into a sort of pattern. Noah would distract or unbalance a marauder, and then Jack sliced through it with his sword. Soon, there were only two left.

Whytor, annoyed with the proceedings, shouted, "That's enough for now! I'll be back once I've developed better marauders, samurai! And I have plenty of data to work from..." He and his remaining robots retreated.

"This definitely will not be the last we see of him." Jack said as he sheathed his sword.

"But you'll be ready, of course." said Noah.

"Of course. Though you need a method to damage them as well." Jack thought for a moment, then added, "Do you not have magical powers?"

"Well, yeah, but it's a general rule to not try to upstage the lead characters..." Noah started.

"Excuse me?" Jack asked.

"... Never mind."

"In any case, if you have such abilities, you may use them if you feel it necessary."

"All right, thanks."

And so, the two of them walked off, continuing their journey.

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><p>It seems I got this chapter done a bit faster than I'd anticipated, so you actually ARE getting a new chapter today, it would seem.<p>

Please review, I'd really like to know what you guys think of all this.


	3. A Prelude to the True Insanity

Author's Note: Let me preface this with an apology for the _long-ass_ time it's taken me to get back to this. (I am a lazy and you have every right to hate me for that.)

However, I've got the itch to write and hopefully should have some new content within the week. (provided I'm not distracted by something and can actually find the time to bust out my laptop…) Anyway as extra apology, here's a bit of story content:

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><p>And so the mighty Samurai Jack stood facing his archenemy Aku. They were locked in the traditional stare down before their latest epic confrontation would begin.<p>

"This ends here!" Jack declared, pointing his ancient blade at his hated foe.

"I shall enjoy finally destroying you, samurai!" Aku responded.

There was a brief instance where nothing happened. And then, Jack let loose his trademark battlecry and leaped at Aku!

Noah, meanwhile, stood on the sidelines because this was something Jack had to do himself. (Whether that was something Jack had actually told him prior to this or an excuse for him to not get involved is entirely up to you, dear reader, for I am saying nothing more on the matter.)

Their battle was truly epic in the most proper definition of the term. Aku used nearly every attack he had to crush his pesky foe, and Jack practically _flew_ across the battlefield dodging Aku's demonic claws and eye-lasers and fireballs.

Finally, when it was beginning to seem as though the battle would never end, Jack dropped upon Aku and jammed his ancestral blade through the demon's chest.

Thus the demon was defeated and drained of his dark powers, and was reverted to his "Black Tree" form.

"Bravo!" Noah cried, applauding Jack's victory over his eternal rival. "Let's go celebrate your victory!"

"Indeed." Jack said, "Perhaps now I shall be able to focus on the other part of my quest, to find a a way to return to my own time, where I shall defeat my hated foe where I had previously failed and prevent this dark future from ever coming to pass in the first place."

And the two walked off into the sunset.

And this, dear reader, may seem like the end of this tale, but in the battle, Aku had done much damage to the fabric of their universe, and what seemed like an ending, was merely the beginning of an insane adventure...


	4. Aku Becomes Chaotic Evil

(This chapter features a brief cameo of Chaos from Sonic Adventure! BEHOLD THE UNFOLDING INSANITY!)

It was a peaceful day. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, why it seemed as though nothing bad could possibly happen on that particular day.

Which is why it really shocked no-one that something terrible happened.

A clawed hand made of some odd fluid poked through a tear in the fabric of dimensions, followed by another. The tear was then opened further, and a vaguely demonic entity somehow both fluid and solid poured out into the realm.

It crashed across the landscape, heading in no particular direction, and leaving devastation in its wake.

At some point, it came upon a certain black tree of intense evil, and the tree was absorbed into it...

The creature, which previously had been clear enough to see through, suddenly turned pitch black. Its form shifted until a set of horns grew from its head and it gained a pair of demonic yellow eyes with GREAT FLAMING EYEBROWS!

A low, rumbling laugh echoed through the plains. "My evil could not be contained forever! I have risen once more, and now none shall stand in my way! For I fEEl MoRe POweRfUll ThAN EvEr! HA HAA HAAA HAAAAAAA!"

Aku had returned, and had found himself merged with a being known as Chaos, currently in its Perfect Form. He had now become Chaotic Evil.

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><p>Some time later, terror was spreading throughout the city as the Aku-Chaos fusion rampaged through it.<p>

Jack arrived on the scene as quickly as he could, but found himself at a loss.

"... It's gonna take more than a magical ancestral katana to beat _that_." Noah said, appearing beside Jack.

"Perha- Wait, how did you-?" Jack began to ask.

"I once learned the secret to traveling at the Speed of Plot Convenience." Noah answered, "It's actually quite simple. Remind me to teach you sometime."

Chaos-Aku smashed a building, sending debris flying toward the two heroes. "SaMuRaI, cOmE oUt To PlA~e~Ay!" he shouted.

"I am beginning to wish I had kept the Robo-Samurai." Jack said as he sidestepped a particularly large chunk of masonry.

"Hey, yeah, whatever happened to that, anyway?" Noah asked.

"I left it behind because I felt using such a weapon in my battles would be dishonorable. Only now do I realize I might have needed such a weapon for other battles..."

Noah closed his eyes and thought hard. "Okay." he said, looking out at Chaos-Aku, "I try to avoid resorting to this sort of thing, but seeing as we have little choice..." He reached into his coat and pulled out a device resembling a 3DS.

"I'm going to remove some limits." he said, as he switched on the device. First, he started up an app titled "Fanservice" and selected a set of options.

Suddenly, the Robo-Samurai warped in behind them, and a bracelet dropped into Jack's hands.

"That should solve your 'Not having a giant robot when you need one' problem." Noah said, before going into another app titled "Avatar Settings" and deselecting a few checkboxes. He was then enveloped in a bright light, as a pair of ethereal wings sprouted from his back.

"Oh, how I missed this feeling!" he cried. He pulled his sword, which was also enveloped in light, from his coat. "LET'S DO THIS!" He yelled, launching himself towards Chaos-Aku.

Jack, meanwhile, placed the bracelet on his arm, and entered the meditative state that allowed him to merge with the Robo-Samurai the first time he used it.

Noah rocketed through Chaos-Aku and came out the other side gripping a gemstone that could only be a Chaos Emerald. "I figured these would be in there." he said, pocketing it. "One down, six to go, and hopefully getting them out will destabilize him."

Chaos-Aku swiped at Noah, but Robo-Samurai Jack entered the fray at that moment, slamming into the monster. "I shall keep him occupied while you do that." he said, lashing at Chaos-Aku with the Robo-Samurai's blade.

They fell into a sort of pattern where Jack would battle Chaos-Aku until it was stunned, and Noah would launch himself through the beast to collect another Emerald. Eventually, he had managed to collect all of them.

"Now, Jack! It's time to finish this!" Noah shouted. Jack focused his energy into one final slash, obliterating his monstrous foe.

Sort of.

The residue of the blast that destroyed Chaos-Aku reformed into an entity resembling a cross between Chaos-Zero and Aku. He was, of course, less than pleased. (Most definitely an understatement.)

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He pointed a claw at the heroes. "This is _not_ over! I shall find a way to regain those gems, and then I SHALL CRUSH YOU LIKE THE _INSECTS_ YOU ARE!" he shouted, before clawing a hole in space and leaping into it.

"Hah. Fat chance while I'm holding the-" Noah started to say, but then his body erupted with energy as he reverted back to his power-locked state. The blast launched the Emeralds in random directions beyond the horizon.

"Well, crap."

The Robo-Saumurai faded into light particles, and Jack appeared as his normal self. "It should not be such a problem. We merely need to locate them before Aku does." he said. "I assume your device can track them, along with the various other no-doubt reality-warping abilities it has. Speaking of which, what has happened to the Robo-Samurai?"

"It's been converted into a state that allows you the convenience of having a giant robot when you need one, while not needing the waste resources transporting or storing it. The bracelet acts as the key to retrieving it. Simply enter the mindset that lets you merge with it and it shall appear around you. Don't ask how it works, because I don't understand all the details." Noah explained (as best he could).

"And what happened to you?"

"I broke too many limits for this universe, so at the end of the encounter, they re-asserted themselves. It's a pain, but when the need arises..." Noah rubbed his head for a moment. "Stings like hell, though."

"I understand." Jack said. "So where should we go first?"

"If I remember how this works, the Chaos Emeralds gravitate toward specific biomes. One will be in a verdant forest-type setting, another in some type of industrial complex..." Noah pulled out his Plot Device and loaded up the MacGuffin Tracker app. "Anyway, we've got a lot of work ahead..."

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><p>AN: Holy crap this may be my longest chapter yet. (Which isn't something to be proud of, considering the length some other people's chapters can get up to...)

And anyway, now we're in what was when I originally wrote it likely my first attempt at a cohesive arc with a definite goal beyond "Our heroes go place, fight evil, restock supplies, lather rinse repeat." Maybe. It's been a long time since then. What I do remember is that in the original version, it was Jack who did the "Hero basically goes Super-Saiyan" thing and I probably glossed over whether or not the emeralds were still within Chaos-Aku.

Anyway, hope you enjoy, please leave a review, I'll try to post more fic on a semi-regular basis.


	5. The Search Begins

We join our heroes in a verdant forest area, precisely the sort of area that a quest to collect Chaos Emeralds would start in.

Noah touched down from a recon flight, his wings dissipating in a shower of ethereal feathers.

"Well?" Jack asked. "What did you see?"

"Aku must know there's an Emerald here, he's got his drones combing the area." Noah replied. "We'll need to be cautious about this."

"His drones should not trouble us too greatly." said Jack, "Between my skills and your magic, we could handle a small army of them."

"Sure, we could handle them, but I can't maintain my powers forever, y'know." Noah added as he pulled his device from his coat and fired up the tracker app. "Looks like the Emerald's this way." He indicated a path toward the middle of the forest.

Several minutes of walking and an occasional fight later, they arrived at a small meadow with a spatial distortion in the center.

"Well, this figures." said Noah. "We may need to play some crappy minigame to get our prize."

Suddenly, a(n incredibly dorky-sounding) maniacal laugh sounded from the forest. "I knew you would have some method of tracking these gems!"

"Aw, crap, and a boss fight, too?!"

Sure enough, Whytor stomped into the meadow, riding in a large robotic armor suit. "Behold, my latest creation: The Grand Marauder!" he said, clearly pleased with himself. "Currently it lacks an AI system, but it doesn't need one of those to CRUSH YOU!" He slammed one of the Grand Marauder's arms down at Jack, who nimbly rolled out of the way.

"Jack, can you hold off this idiot while I get the Emerald?" Noah asked.

Jack already had his sword out and in Glowing Badass Mode. "How long will you need?"

"Maybe two minutes, tops."

"I can handle myself until then." the samurai said, leaping away from another strike. "Go!"

With that, Noah dove into the distortion.

"Now, then. Shall we dance?" Jack asked his foe, smirking.

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><p>Meanwhile, inside the distortion, Noah found himself free-floating in a shapeless void.<p>

"So this is what being in a bonus stage feels like." he said. "I wonder what sort of task I'll need to perform to collect the emerald..."

As he said that, the world began to resolve itself around him, taking the shape of a long, curving half-pipe track. "Aw, hell, it _had_ to be the half-pipe course." He quickly brought his wings out and with a powerful flap, took off to gather the necessary rings.

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><p>Back outside the distortion, Jack had discovered that not even his sword's Glowing Badass Mode could scratch the Grand Marauder.<p>

"This time, I prepared for even that!" Whytor shouted, parrying another attempt by Jack to slice at the mech. "There is nothing you can do to destroy _this_ Marauder!"

Jack leaped back, dodging another strike from the mech's fists. "It seems I will need something else..." he said, clasping his hands together and closing his eyes. "I summon the power of the Robo-Samurai!" he shouted, and in a flash, the Robo-Samurai appeared, instantly merging with Jack.

"Wha- You have a giant robot too? No fair!" Whytor whined.

"With this, the field should now be evened." Robo-Samurai Jack declared. He charged at his opponent, slamming the Grand Marauder with his blade. It flew several feet backward, landing on its back.

Whytor was left dizzy in the wake of Jack's attack. Upon shaking it off, he found the Robo-Samurai's sword pointed at the mech.

"You are defeated, Whytor. Leave this place." said Jack.

"I'm not leaving until I get that emerald for Lord Aku!" Whytor shouted.

"Well, that's too bad," said Noah, as he shot out of the distortion holding the Green Chaos Emerald, "Because it's mine now."

The Grand Marauder struggled to its feet. "That's not really a problem, I'll just _take it from you_!" Whytor cried, charging the Grand Marauder at Noah.

"**Chaos Control!**" Noah shouted, and then suddenly vanished.

"What the-? Where did he-?" Whytor looked around, confused.

Noah reappeared above the Grand Marauder, and dropped onto its head. "Surprise!" Noah pulled out his own sword, charged it with energy, and stabbed it into the robot's head.

"No! My Grand Marauder!" Whytor cried. The mech began to explode in the way bosses in video games tend to do, and Whytor quickly ejected himself from it. "This won't be the end! I'll be back with a Grand Marauder Mk2, and _then_ I'll destroy _both of you_!" he shouted as he ran away.

The Robo-Samurai, no longer needed, vanished into particles of light. "My own sword was unable to cut into that machine, how was yours able to?" Jack asked.

"A power boost from the Chaos Emerald." Noah explained. "I simply channeled its energy through me and into my sword. You could probably do it, too."

There was a brief silence.

"Um, sorry about stealing the spotlight at the end, there." Noah said.

"Nonsense, my friend!" Jack replied, "This is as much your story as it is mine, now. By the way, that, what was it? 'Chaos Control' thing you did, did you know you could do that?"

"Not really, but I wanted to try." Noah pulled out his device and fired up the tracker app. "Anyway, we have more Chaos Emeralds to find."

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><p>AN: And that's the first emerald located. I suspect I am terrible at writing fight scenes, but hopefully you found the "boss battle" enjoyable.

Please leave a review, I need to know if anyone is actually enjoying this or if you can think of ways I could improve the story. Please? Reviews will also encourage me to stick to a regular update schedule, if that means anything.


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